Effective Anger Management – Part I – The Nature of Anger
Understanding the nature of anger:
We probably all have been told, at some time or another, that it is “bad” to be angry. Some of us may even have been told that to be anything but always positive and cheerful runs contrary to biblical teachings, and that any expressions of worry, despair or anger are expressions of ungratefulness to God.
Obviously, it is impossible to control other peoples behavior or how they may characterize our behavior. It is however, important for each of us to better understand our behavior and especially those aspects of our behavior often labeled as “Negative”. Negative is a label we assign to qualities or experiences considered undesirable, unrewarding, and non-affirming. The opposite of “negative” is “positive” and that seems to say it all; But does it?
Every one of us has discovered, at some time or another in our lives, a treasure hidden beneath an undesirable misfortune, or a blessing in disguise. We suffer through a relationship that ends unexpectedly, then accidentally meet the person with whom we spend the rest of our life. We get laid off from a job, only to find another that is far better suited to our talents and pays a lot more. Are these events negative or positive? Obviously, these events can be either negative or positive, depending on how one perceives them. The same is true for human emotions.
Emotions are neither negative nor positive. They just are. The best descriptive of these labels is that used by a physicist in the study of energy. In this context, the terms negative or positive refer to the minus direction and plus direction of the same scale. Both are equally valid, equally necessary, and neither can exist without the other. Such is the case with all the emotions that form the complex whole of a human being.
The premise of this tip is that there is nothing wrong with any emotions. It is O.K. to experience a feeling of anger, jealousy, despair, or hatred. To react with rage when we are hit, or hurt when we are insulted, is as natural to our existence as being hungry when we have not eaten. Like all others, anger is a basic human emotion. It serves a very important function by communicating to ourselves and others that something is not in line with our expectations. Since our communicative behavior is mostly learned, expressing our anger is definitely something we learn, and thus something we can manage.
If you find yourself unable to manage anger effectively, or if you are mismanaging anger in any of the five ways above, you may need some professional help with your anger. Please contact your primary care physician, or call our office for an appointment with a trained therapist.
Hinsdale SCTC (630)-850-2121
Naperville SCTC (630)-983-7530
Life is too short to spend it in anger and dismay. Take charge of your anger today…. “For a Balanced Life”
This material is provided for informational purposes only. None of the information provided in this site is to replace a timely visit with a health care provider or your behavioral health professional.